How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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