Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize