I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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