Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So gin and wine won't be happening again
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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