If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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