He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
