I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize