They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
