I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i out mim tonsoeep
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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