Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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