I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
