He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
