Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
