dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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