I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
