i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My vagina just clenched in fear
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
