So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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