she was so not down for the gang bang
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
