She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
