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i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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