And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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