Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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