Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
