the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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