TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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