and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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