So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
