So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Randomize
