Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
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You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
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I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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