Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
