i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
