Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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