I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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