I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can't put those talents on a resume
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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