She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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