There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
