dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
