that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
