I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
