I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Randomize
