I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How's work?
Spinning.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
