She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
