Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
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The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Someone stole a lamp last night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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