I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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