Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
