That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize