I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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