I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
