you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
