i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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