just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize