we have officially lost it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
