look no pants
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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