My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
