windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
