Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
