sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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