I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
