I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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