is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
