somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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