Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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