The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize