I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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