David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
