I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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