you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
