cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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