Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
