I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
