I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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