i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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